They Say Never Work With Children And Animals...

But they also should add to that, never launch a new book in the summer, during the biggest sporting tournament in the world.

A Dead Chick And Some Dirty Tricks is out there, waiting for the World Cup to be decided, for people to tear themselves away from their tellies and give it the electronic equivalent of a quick flick through.

At the moment, the novel feels a bit like Neymar, watching helplessly from the sidelines as everyone else has all the fun.

Don't worry, my dear little 4th novel, your turn in the spotlight will come.

A Dead Chick And Some Dirty Tricks Is Out Today

It really is, I kid you not. Don't believe me? Well, lookee here. Now do you believe me?

A DEAD CHICK AND SOME DIRTY TRICKS. Out on Friday 27 June 2014

The stars will align. The runes will speak of good fortune. The tea leaves will arrange themselves into a lucky formation upon the bottom of my best bone china tea cup. And I shall wear my lucky pants.

For Friday 27 June is the date that A Dead Chick And Some Dirty Tricks will be unleashed upon the world.

Like an overdue baby, the novel is six months late. Like a doting parent, I worry about letting it out into the big bad world. So far, I have taught it all I know. I have cared for it. Corrected it when it was wrong. Protected it from outside influences.

But soon I must set it free. To let others judge what I have raised. Will it sink, will it swim, Will.I.Am?  I don't know.

All I know is to stand a chance, it has to be out there.

Go forth, my fourth.

A Quick Guide To Turpenton

It was never meant to be so omnipresent.

This place called Turpenton.

It was just a name for a place that I thought up because I needed to think up a name for a place in an early draft of Last Night At The Stairways. And I got so attached to it, I never thought of a better place name. So the name stuck, and I'm stuck with the name.

I mean, Stairways is loosely based on a couple of old night clubs in my hometown of Croydon, south London. But I didn't want to namecheck Croydon in my fiction, mainly to protect the innocent and prevent an unmanageable influx of tourists to the area. 

And Turpenton was the first made up name I could think of that sounded like a place without actually being a place.

But it wasn't meant to stick, and Turpenton East station certainly wasn't meant to crop up in The Wronged. And Turpenton General certainly wasn't meant to be the setting for A Dead Chick And Some Dirty Tricks.

But before you get to thinking he's gone Turpenton crazy, fear not. My next novel, the second to feature Jake 'will he/won't he start smoking again' Rodwell isn't going to be based anywhere near Turpenton.

I don't think.

The Battle Of The Blurbs - Part Two

So here it is, the Blurb that's ready to take on the previous Blurb, which you can catch here if you missed it.

Vote A if you prefer that one over this one. Vote B if you prefer this one over that one. And Vote C if you wish Jon Lymon would stop inflicting his crazy novels on the populace.

Please ask the bill payer's permission before voting. And if you vote after the deadline, your vote won't be counted but you still might be charged.

BLURB B

‘You have no idea of the strength of the forces you’re up against, Rodwell.’

So declares small-time conjurer Dino Camballi from his sick bed as PC Jake Rodwell stands guard over him. Somebody wants Camballi dead, and although it’s not strictly Rodwell’s job to find out who, he takes it upon himself to find out who.

When Camballi’s assistant is discovered decapitated, Rodwell realises that the case is dragging him deeper and deeper into a disturbing and unpredictable world of magic, deception and illusion that challenges everything Rodwell has ever believed in and threatens to destroy his future and his family.

Book Reviewer or Blogger? Get your hands on a pre-release copy of A Dead Chick And Some Dirty Tricks

That's a long title for a post, but there's only a short while to go until A Dead Chick And Some Dirty Tricks gets released into the wild.

But before then, book reviewers and bloggers can get their hands on this quite frankly captivating collection of words simply by clicking this link that will take you to my official website from whence you can request a copy.

Surely I deserve five stars out of five for making it so easy!

The Battle Of The Blurbs - Part One

The blurb, that couple of paragraphs of text on the back of a book, or under the thumbnail that gives you an outline of what the story's about.

Writing them is an art form in itself. It's incredibly difficult for an author to distill 70,000 odd words of plot, subplot and character into a few hundred that tempt people to part with their cash. But that's the deal.

So here's the first blurb for my forthcoming novel A Dead Chick And Some Dirty Tricks. Have a read and see if this floats your boat, tickles your fancy, flies your plane and any other of those sorts of phrases.

But don't make your decision based on this blurb alone. I'll be releasing a couple more into the internetosphere over the next week or so, and running with the most popular.

So here goes, Blurb Exhibit A, m'lud....

BLURB A

Magician Dino Camballi staggers from his apartment, five daggers sticking out of his torso. As medics battle to save him, PC Jake Rodwell is assigned the task of guarding Camballi in hospital. But is the magician victim or suspect? Rodwell vows to find out, seizing the chance to realise his ambition of becoming a detective. 

But his inexperience soon proves costly.

As Camballi’s wife is found decapitated and key witnesses are discovered brutally murdered, Camballi hides an incredible secret that he’s preparing to unleash from his sick bed.

Can Rodwell discover the truth about the magician before he pulls the whole hospital under his spell and makes his escape?